Words We Won't Soon Forget

Yesterday I was thinking about some of the things people have said to us in the past few months since we lost Lukey. The power of words is incredible, and we have certainly found great and lasting comfort in what many, many people have communicated to us. As meaningful as words have been, I can't overemphasize the deep and heartfelt way that non-verbal "words" have touched us... a gentle touch, a caring hug, a compassionate look... or someone simply sitting beside us, saying and doing nothing... just being there. Presence is oftentimes as powerful as words and quite possibly more so.

You can keep checking this post every now and then if you find it interesting or maybe even helpful. I'll continue to update it as Nicol and I are reminded of some of the conversations, comments, emails, cards, etc. that have meant so much to us, and I'll also add new ones that stand out too. I'm including first names and a brief description of the context of each statement... hopefully that will add a little more meaning for you.

A tongue that brings healing is a tree of life... (Proverbs 15:4)
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. (Proverbs 15:30)
The tongue has the power of life and death... (Proverbs 18:21)

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Lukey go? (Summer, shortly after she had woken up, at about 7:00am on Wednesday, May 28, the morning after Luke died)
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Don't let this tear your marriage apart. Hold onto your wife and don't let her go. (James, the morning after, I called him that day to let him know about our crisis; ironically, we had talked just a few days earlier and he had to get off the phone very abruptly because he was "in the midst of a crisis")
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I've been praying for you. (Aaron, my cousin, in a very meaningful conversation just days after Luke's death)
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That's pretty disgusting. (Jeff, my longtime friend, the same day Aaron called; he just couldn't believe this had happened) ==========
I'm praying for you brother. Call me anytime and if you need me to fly down there you let me know and I'll be there. Anything you and Nicol need. I'm here for you. (DC, our wonderful friend from Washington, DC, a day or two into this dreadful ordeal)
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Hold him!!! (Summer, at the church in a private viewing room the day of the funeral; it was the first time she saw Luke since the evening he died, and yes, she wanted his pacey!)
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If Jesus himself walked into this room and explained why Luke died, it would not take away your questions and it would not ease the pain that you and Nicol are experiencing. (Clayton, my mentor and our friend, as he spoke at the funeral)
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You can't blame yourself. It was his time. The Father called him home. Don't try to make sense of it. Don't try to understand it. We can't understand this. (Meeca, Nicol's amazing doctor and our wonderful friend, during a conversation in which Nicol was sharing her overwhelming sadness and guilty feelings)
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I'm so sorry I never had the chance to hold him. (Gram, the first time I talked to her after Luke's death)
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There are only two things I know to be true right now... the Cross and the Resurrection. (Al, our counselor and friend, during our first session together)
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My experiences tell me that you're going to walk with a limp. You'll be okay and you're going to make it. But you'll walk with a limp. (Al, during our second session)
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This is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. (Meeca, during a call she made to check up on us)
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I've always said that if anyone deserves extra grace it's everyone who faces what y'all are going through. (Phil, our friend and colleague, after church one Sunday evening, about 4-5 weeks after Luke died)
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You will heal. The pain will lessen. The loss will always haunt, always remind, never go away. But it will lessen it's grip. Time and His great mercy will eventually overtake the pain where you see more mercy than pain. It will take a long time. Between now and then, the only things you can do is, "do the next thing," and cling to Him by faith. (Michael, our friend, in a very kind and compassionate email on August 8)
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The only process you need to be into right now is the grieving process. (Clayton, after some well-intended but ill-advised words from someone who hoped we were "well and in the healing process now")
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We just need to help each other make it to heaven. (Nell, our friend from Chicago, sharing her own heartbreak)
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You know this; lead me through it. (Al, quoting The Royal Hunt of the Sun, affirming the fact that God is familiar with suffering and He can and will lead us thru the valleys)
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Sink into the pain. (Jan, speaker and friend over lunch one day, encouraging us to not ignore or gloss over the intensity of the pain we are facing)
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I just received news of your loss. My heart grieves and borders on anger for your loss. I have a rationale mind that finds it very difficult to find peace and rest knowing mysteries like Luke's death exist and good people endure the most tragic of circumstances.

Why?

Why!

Tears form even now as I type ...

May God grant you an un-explainable peace in the depth of your soul and mind ... as un-explainable as the mystery of your loss.
(Troy, our friend from San Diego, in an email on June 2, 6 days after Luke's passing)
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