Monday, December 14, 2009

The Latest

I know it's been forever since I've posted anything by way of an update. The reality is, I just haven't had much to write about... better said, there has been a lot on my mind, but I haven't had the desire to share much of anything. Just shooting straight with you.


That's REALLY bad for maintaining interest in your blog... 


Anyway, there are a couple of things I want to share. First, Nicol miscarried again in October (as you may remember, she miscarried in April as well). You might think of April as a right hook, with October being the left uppercut that buckled our knees and sort of left us in a heap. I say "sort of" because we were rocked, no doubt about it. But God, as He has been over and over again, has been so kind and gracious. Can't deny that it's been pretty rough just the same though.


The second part of this update - and incredible news at that - is that on November 4, following several days of unusually excessive fatigue (for Nicol, not me! :)), we found out that she was expecting AGAIN! We were pretty much dumbfounded... mostly because we didn't know that it was physiologically possible to conceive so soon after a miscarriage... as a matter of fact, Nov 4 was just 25 days after Nicol miscarried... do the math, it doesn't really add up, but like our friend Lindal says, our math obviously isn't God's math... so somewhere in there I like to think a miracle happened.


We are thrilled and so thankful. Nicol's due date is July 15 (she's almost 10 weeks along). She's had minor nausea so far, which is a BIG change from Summer and Luke, when she was sick 24/7 all the way up to 18-19 weeks. Honestly though, we are relieved every time it hits her because it seems to indicate that things are okay. Since her doc says that every pregnancy is different, there's probably not a lot of substance to my theory. Whatever the case, I hate the sickness for her, but oddly enough it's a relief for both of us. AND the other piece of good news is that each of her ultrasounds have shown that the baby has a "happy, healthy, strong" heartbeat (as her doc says). We hadn't seen a heartbeat in April or October, so it was a massive praise when we saw that little heart pulsating on the monitor for the first time just a few weeks ago. 


I am reminded yet again that conception and life are gifts from God. When we got pregnant with Summer, it followed a significant amount of time during which we were "leaving it up to God," if you will. Same with Luke. 


And then, when we found out Nicol was expecting last March, we thought it was a special blessing from God (and every pregnancy is), but still... it was like He hadn't forgotten us, like He was reminding us that He was with us in the devastating pain of Luke's death. And then we miscarried. 


And then, September rolled around and we didn't know what to think or how to feel... we were, honestly, afraid and reluctant to get our hopes up, to engage too deeply with the idea of a new baby because we knew there were no guarantees. But as every parent knows, it's impossible NOT to engage with anticipation the new life being formed within. And then we miscarried.


And then, when the news of another pregnancy came about 8 weeks ago, quite predictably, we were thrilled and we were scared and we were ecstatic and we were hesitant to let our hearts engage the idea of a new addition to our family. And so far, everything is fine.


I remember the afternoon we went to the hospital for Luke's delivery... c-section, actually. The shift nurse, as she checked Nicol in, shared with us that her 5 year old daughter had recently been diagnosed with cancer. "How on earth do you deal with that?" I thought. I realized that all along I had taken for granted the good health of our own daughter. 


I also remember praying just before Nicol went to the OR that day (and this was in light of Todd and Angie and everything they were going thru with Audrey)... I remember praying, "God, we don't take this baby's health for granted." Yes, yes I did. And ten weeks later we lost Luke. Indeed, I did take our son's well-being for granted. Didn't dream his life would be so short. But how could I have? What parent would?


Why all the background information? Because, while I am much more aware today of the fact that there are no guarantees with this baby, I have to admit that there's still a piece of me that takes God's kindness and grace for granted. Perhaps the greatest difference is that, lately, I am far more likely to stop in my tracks and say, "Thank you, Jesus. You are amazing and beautiful." when we receive a good report from the doctor, or when He drops these blessings in our lap, or just because I am reminded how good and faithful He has been and how desperate I am for Him in my life.


So guess what? I'm going to ask you once again for your prayers and I thank you in advance for them! We need them more than you can imagine...


One more thing... here's a recent pic of our little princess. Talk about a blessing. 





43 comments:

Anita said...

Sending prayers your way from my little corner in central Maine. May God richly bless you, Nicol, Summer & little baby. God is good, but life is sometimes just hard. Praying that sunny days are ahead!

Jess said...

Oh, wow.
Y'all have definitely been through it. I am so sorry.
But, praying with you guys for a healthy pregnancy and redeeming light at the end of the tunnel now!

Hannah said...

Summer is beautiful! Congratulations on your pregnancy (well your wife's :-)! I will be praying for you guys.

krista said...

I am so sorry to hear of the loss you guys have experienced. I have been following your blog since you lost sweet Luke.
We just lost a baby through miscarriage (we also have a 2 year old) and it has been hard. So hard. I am so happy to hear that things are looking up for you and your family. I, too, have been learning what a GIFT babies and children are...and never to take that gift for granted.

Heidi said...

What a beauty!

Congratulations on the impending new baby! I hope all goes well for all 4 of you!

Michelle Found said...

Congratulations! I am praying for your new little babe's health. I am glad that you continue to trust in God through your trials. Your family's perseverance is an encouragement to so many people.

We, too, experienced miscarriages.... we have two babes that we look forward to meeting one day. With both of these babes, I did not experience any sickness. With our three surviving boys, I experienced sickness, day and night, until close to the fifth month. So I completely agree with your theory!

Thank you for sharing your life's details with "the blog world". I've missed your family updates. Keep us posted!
God Bless.

~Michelle Found
Picton, Ontario, Canada
www.fiddlersfound.blogspot.com

Devon said...

congratulations...

what a rough year for you all. praying for this baby...praying for your hearts as well.

i too have lost children and its hard to fully trust that good will ever come again...but it does. new dreams are found. different from the ones we had but still answered prayers...

Erika said...

Congratulations!! I saw you & your family this last summer at the Tuscarora Inn where Nicol was giving a concert. I miscarried in September (haven't conceived again yet). I read somewhere that it was (slightly) possible to get pregnant w/in 2 weeks after a miscarriage. God is a God of miracles - I praise Him for your new little miracle! I'll be praying for you all.

Ruthie said...

Wow, I am so sorry about your second miscarriage. I have suffered four myself and I can relate to the excitement mixed with great fear when you find out, yet again, you are expecting. What a miracle to have another baby on the way though. I think of your family often and will be praying that God protects this baby and allows him/her to make it full-term and to join your family in your arms!!! Congratulations and thank you for the sobering reminder not to take God's goodness for granted, and to always be thankful.

Merry Christmas!

rebecca said...

What wonderful news! I will be keeping you and Nicol in my prayers. God is faithful!
By the way...your little princess is beautiful :)

Mel said...

I think your little princess looks like her Uncle Todd! :O)

We had a sermon on Sunday about the suffering soul and the hopeful soul. Psalm 42-43. We have a family in our church who had received the horrible news that their 7 year old son's cancer had returned after almost a year of being cancer free. The whole church aches for them. The crux of the sermon was that sometimes our circumstances contratict what we believe but we NEED to preach truth to our souls(like the Psalmist does) instead of listening to the real and pain-filled things going on in our lives. We may not even feel comfort but we do have hope in the battle...the Psalm ends with "I shall yet praise Him". To know that even when we don't feel comfort but still have hope is an amazing truth. You have no doubt experienced this in all your suffering!
Praying for God to sustain the gift of life He has given your family!!!!!
Hope I haven't rambbled!

Lori from Michigan said...

Praise God - I will be praying for your baby and family.

Pilgrim Days said...

I have been praying it would be so and continuing to pray for the littlest one and you all. hugs!

House of Collinsworth said...

I've been thinking about your family lately and wondered how you were doing since the miscarriage. I'm so sorry for all you both have had to endure...and I somewhat understand it. I miscarried my first babies....twins...in 2004. Then miscarried again in 2005. The very next month I got pregnant with my son (Ethan) and he was born healthy in May of 2006. Then on December 2 of last year, I miscarried again. Just 25 days later (same as you), I found out I was pregnant again. We were so happy! The pregnancy went smoothly until I was about 24 weeks when my blood pressure started to rise. Our precious son, Noah died in my womb at 31 weeks gestation on July 7th this year. We have since found Angie's blog and have been so encouraged by her and Todd's testimony. We have been long time fans of Selah (my husband is a worship pastor and we have sung a lot of Selah's music...including "Mystery" just this past Saturday!). Losing Noah has opened my eyes to so many others who have lost. I weep over my own son...but I can tell you that I have also shed many tears over your loss as well. Luke is beautiful!!! I say "is"....it's no slip of the tongue. No doubt he is even more beautiful today in the arms of our Savior.

I can promise you that I will be on my knees praying for this new little one on the way...and for all of you as well. What a beautiful daughter you have! No doubt you view her as a miracle...as I do my son, Ethan.

rthling said...

Oh, Greg!
I am just tickled to hear of your new baby!
I know that going through miscarriage is hard. I know you have days when you scream out to God. And after you lost Luke, it must have been even so much harder.
You and Nicol have been on my heart often, and I am praying that this pregnancy will be uneventful and healthy.
I had no sickness with my first, and if it weren't for the fact that the doctor told me I was pregnant, I wouldn't have believed it. Enjoy this one. Tell Nicol I'm praying, even though you don't know me at all.

Aim said...

OH wow. I think I was just on a roller coaster while reading your post! Talk about up and down and all around! SOOOO happy for you and the wonderful gift God has given you for the holidays! I am so thrilled you are expecting and so thankful you shared so we can keep you on our prayer list and hearts daily!!!! I have never posted on here before so if you are wondering who in the world this is you can see at www.aimrogmerritt.blogspot.com
Have a wonderful Christmas!!!!

The 5 Foxes said...

You don't know me, but I've been checking in here ever since you lost your sweet Luke. I'm all teared up, thinking about the hope and future you have, with Summer and with your precious unborn baby. God bless. And thank you for sharing.

Mocha with Linda said...

Congratulations on your surprise! I'm so sad that Nicol had that second miscarriage, but wow! So glad that everything is looking good with this one.

And Summer is a cutie!

Ruth said...

We don't know each other, but I've followed your blog since Luke's death. I am hoping beyond hope that your hearts receive the blessing of this baby next July!

Crystal Theresa said...

Greg, I am praying for Nicol's continued health (and morning sickness, in the best of ways) during this pregnancy and for the well being of your little one on the way. As well as peace for you as a couple, as I can understand the worry that can come with this wonderful blessing.

I lost my first child, my son, Calvin Phoenix, in my 18th week of pregnancy this past March, and I am currently miscarrying my second baby after 7 weeks. Though I am devastated and worn down, I know God chose me and my husband to parent these two little ones in their short time on earth.

Your new joy brings me me some joy, and definitely hope - hope that one day God with bless us with an "earth baby," as my husband says, and will know the joys and pains of raising a child on earth as we wait to be reunited with our babies in Heaven.

God bless you and your family. Congratulations on a truly beautiful Christmas gift.

Daddy's Dream ~Mommy's Miracle said...

So excited for your family. We will be praying.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy for you and Nicol! Her & Angie due dates are close, huh? Every day marks another milestone in pregnancy! I will pray for you both! I know from experience how un-excited and cautious this can be after experiencing loss after loss. Love to you all!
Girl from Indiana

momof4kr said...

Oh, I am absolutely delighted to hear that you all are expecting again! Your family is always on my heart...I just knew God would work much good through your pain.
I will be praying for this little baby to be perfectly healthy and for everything to go just as planned. Much Love to you and your beautiful family, Katie

nikki wood said...

My warmest thoughts and prayers are with you, Nicol, and Summer!

I too am pregnant due July 18th, and pray our miracles both arrive in this world healthy and blessed!

I know how hard it is dealing with loss. I've had 3 losses in 2 years, including a miscarriage, and 2 beautiful babies who died after birth.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say two things: First, as you've asked this time and other times, I'm praying for you and Nicol and Summer and this little yet-to-be-born one. Second, our son was born this past July, just 20 months after our daughter. To say life has been challenging is an understatement. But on the hardest days when I can't comfort either child and I feel I'm losing myself in this difficult journey of parenting, I read your blog, especially your first or second post (Life can change in an instant) and remember the Lord's grace to me in trusting me with these children. I never knew your Luke, but I will never forget him. His brief life and his parents' courage in letting go of him have strengthened me as a parent, a wife, and a Christian more than you could know.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Lisa M,
Chicago

Deanna @ oneagleswings said...

I have followed your blog for quite some time and wanted to congratulate your family on this new blessing.

As I have prayed for your family, I have wondered how much one family could take and am heartbroken to know that you have suffered two miscarriages. I am thrilled to hear about the baby on the way.

Your family is close to my heart and in my prayers for a safe and successful pregnancy and delivery.

Anonymous said...

No words. (i thought I had a bad 2009). I am so sorry for all the loss. Praying. May 2010 break like a new dawn over all 3 of you. May a fresh wind of His Holy Spirit blow under your wings to carry you on. May His PEACE and Faithfulness continue to manifest. May Joy dawn in the next year. Praying for yours and Angies new baby. Thanks for the update. Sherri in GA

Anonymous said...

May I be the first to post on your blog congratulations to you, Nicole, and Summer. May God give you His peace throughout this pregnancy. Hooray!!!!! And I want to thank Nicole and Selah for their music that profoundly touched my heart and continues to after the loss of my husband 6 years ago. Look forward to more updates.

The Thornton Family said...

So sorry to hear about your loss again, but so excited about the good news.

Summer is getting so big - and yes, what a blessing! Don't keep us waiting so long on cute pics of her. :)

I'm now expecting my 3rd. I had my 1st at 17 and after getting married 8 yrs later and trying for 2 yrs (w the help of drugs) God gave us another sweet little boy. Thinking we'd never have a nother child (b/c we didn't want to deal w the treatments) we have a little girl due in April! Our timing was also way off - but His never is....

Hope y'all have a very Merry Christmas!!


Stacey

sheila said...

Thank you for updating us. I am so happy and will be keeping your family in my prayers. May God continue to bless you and give you peace and strength.

Beautiful pic of Summer.
In God's Love, sheila

Misty Rice said...

I had the joy of meeting your sister Angie, Todd and the girls. While in Nashville working, I went to dinner with her and Todd and others. Angie and I sat next to one another and talked and laugh. It was so fun.


She has a special place in my heart because her Audrey and my Morgan had the same due dates in April, until Audrey came a week earlier than that.

I am praying for this new gift and for your family. I know the holidays will be hard and yet a reason to smile.... its HIS birthday we celebrate.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Praising Jesus with you through the storm of grief. Praising Jesus with you through this new baby that is being knitted inside Nicol's womb! May you be blessed!

Katy

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the update. :-) I can understand not wanting to share, and the taking God and His blessings for granted. He was talking to me about that this morning. :-D I've been praying for the special gift of another child for you all....and I will keep up those prayers. Summer is looking so cute in that picture! Merry Christmas!
Johannah

ME :) said...

OH WOW! I am SO happy for you - and at the same time so heavy hearted for you over what all you have been through. May He hold you so close these next days, weeks and months - God bless you both and your absolutely beautiful little girl (that picture is SO cute)! Sunshine

Kristy said...

Oh I am in tears over this post! I am so excited for you and Nicol! This pregnancy, and you both are in my prayers!!!

KK said...

Congratulations! Please know your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Summer is absolutely adorable!
Blessings to your family today and always,
Kaye
Matthew 21:22

Joy said...

It's amazing how God promises peace, love, strength, etc, but never promises "painless heartache". May God's grace and peace totally fill your lives at every moment, when the joy AND when the sadness comes. Praise God for your new Baby, that is wonderful!

Stephanie said...

Wonderful, wonderful news, and good to get an update! I saw that Angie is expecting again as well - what a blessed year 2010 will be. Our new little one is due to arrive in just a few more weeks. We think of you often and will be praying for the four of you!

Love,
Stephanie Williams

Penny said...

Sending prayers of peace! Congratulations on the wonderful news!

Chelsa said...

I kind of wondered if that wouldn't be your update-- Nicol being pregnant. CONGRATULATIONS! I know all to well the pain of losing a baby AND miscarriage too. It is scary... It is still scary for me at 30 weeks pregnant. I try to not take one day of this pregnancy for granted.

WIll def. keep ya'll in my prayers.

And Summer is such a cutie!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your second miscarriage--but are so happy to hear that you are pregnant again and that everything seems to be doing well.

Laura

Virginia said...

Thank you for the update. Been praying for you and will continue to. You guys have really had a rough year.

Thank you, that with the pain you and Nicol have gone through, that you continue to encourage us!

Many prayers being said for you :)

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