Tuesday, February 3, 2009

On My Mind : 2309

Yesterday's post included a very hurtful comment that was made to me soon after we lost Lukey. I am so very thankful for the kind and encouraging words that have been shared with us today. Those responses have reminded me that, by far, the majority of things that have been shared with us over the past 9+ months fall on the helpful side of things... no doubt about that. But it's so easy to remember the discouraging, hurtful words and to lose sight of the fact that we have in many ways been sustained by the thoughtful, grace-filled, and loving verbal embraces that have been streamed our way... from family and friends and acquaintances and even complete strangers... it's been remarkable. 

So I am reminded of the need to keep things in perspective, to try and remain balanced in my thinking, and to not allow myself to be tangled up in the enemy's web of lies... because, the fact is, the harmful words have been greatly outweighed by the tender ones. 

A Theory
I've had a theory for some time that came back to me late this afternoon while out for a run... which, by the way, took place in temperatures that were hovering around 20 degrees... made me run faster. 

Anyway, I've noticed throughout my adult life that when I put on weight, it seems to settle right around my mid-section... you know, STS, the Spare Tire Syndrome. (I'm guessing that I'm not alone here.) The reality is, it wasn't an issue for me until I transitioned from competitive athletics to recreational/leisure activities... which occurred when I was about 20 years of age... and it included a lot of golf which, doesn't exactly induce much in the way of sustained elevated heart rate or the development of any kind of significant cardiovascular fitness. 

The problem at that point was that I continued to eat as though I was still burning massive amounts of calories every day. So, obviously, I packed on the pounds. Then, at around age 25 or 26, I got into running and by the time I was about 28 I was pretty much addicted to it... to the tune of 25-30 miles a week. So, obviously, I trimmed down and was perhaps as fit as I ever have been... and I once again enjoyed the unbelievable luxury of eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. 

Then I got married... and I suppose you know what that means. I was a full-time grad student and on the weekends I traveled with Nicol when she was out singing... all of which translated into no time for exercise and the re-development of some extremely poor eating habits. 

All that to say this... between the ages of 25 and 35 my weight fluctuated between 205 and 260. The point? Like I said at the outset, I've noticed that my "trouble spot" is my waist-line... when I put on weight it tends to start there and keep on expanding from there.

The theory? My sin "trouble-spots" are much the same as the weight trouble spot I just described in that I struggle both continually and in different seasons of life with certain sin issues. In other words, just as my belly is a trouble spot with regard to carrying extra weight, so are certain specific areas of sin a problem which, when fed or ignored, can get out of control in a hurry. In the same way that I have to be intentional about reaching and maintaining a healthy weight thru diet and exercise, I have to be consciously aware of my specific struggles with sin and I have to be intentional about the daily fight that I face.

Does this make any sense?

The good news, of course, is this...

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. -Hebrews 12:4

Jesus took care of that part. We struggle with sin, but He struggled to the point of death so that our struggle is not in vain.





Anonymous said...

Wow, that is a verse that had not yet been revealed to me! We are so blessed, are we not! Thanks Shi~

Anonymous said...

What an end to a game. I really feel like Arizona hurt themselves with penalties but there were those two things you mentioned too.
As for "moving on", I do want to say that God wants us to keep moving. We are in relationship with Him and relationships are not stagnate. I do agree that this was a hurtful comment and should never have been spoken. However, I do think you are moving on in your grief. You mention it as you try to figure out where to go from here. Moving on with God makes all things possible. Please stay in touch with your emotions. They are yours and you are entitled to experience them and please never ignore them. I think mentioning it on the blog is a great way of moving on! They have less power now that you have acknowledged them. Okay, counseling session over! I am praying for your family. God bless you! Jennifer in Southeast, NC

Maggy said...

It does make a lot of sense and I know waht you mean about taking care of our sin the same way we have to treat a health issue that is affecting your body ( of course self inflicting sometimes) :)
My prayers are still with your family.
Love in Christ our Redeemer

Ang said...

My trouble spot is my completion. When I am stressed out my skin gets really dry. And I look washed out. I think it is a reminder that I need to spend a little time on me, which is very hard.
Over the course of the last two years with Olivia people have said such hurtful things to us. Basically telling us it is our fault she is Autistic, and not in a soft gentle way. Now I am a nice person and many people say I am the most caring person they know, but I have learned to just say to those people "please stop casting stones at me", it generally shuts them up right away and gets my point across that I don't need their advise. I have come to learn that you do not know what is going on in peoples four walls and you should never judge, I know I will not be the one to cast the first stone.

Blameless said...

I've always viewed sin as an addiction. Even when you have stopped the offending behaviour, the temptation to begin again is forever with you.

Sometimes you stumble back into it, and begin the recovery all over again. It's not about erasing it from your (earthly) life, it's about learning to resist the urges, and becoming stronger in your resolve (with Christ's help).

One day we will all be released from these burdens. Until then, we are each other's supports to the finish line!


Lee said...


Incidentally, I caught up on your blog last night after spending an extraordinary afternoon with two awesome Godly women. One of which lost a child at birth 24 years ago. I had not known her story until yesterday. The tears fell as fresh yesterday as I am sure they have many times over the past 24 years. We wept and prayed together for her beautiful little girl and thanked God for the 4 other children she went on the have.
She relayed some of the things people said to she and her husband after losing their little girl. Those wounds are also as fresh.
Her story...your story...reminds me that as a body of believers, we must SHARE each other's burdons, even when the pain you might be experiencing is unfathomable to me, and simply walk with our brothers and sisters through the pain.
I think of you and Nicol almost daily (I have several of her & Selah's recods in my Ipod which prompts me to think of you) and often whisper prayers to my Jesus to bring you comfort in that moment.
You are loved, my friend!

Anonymous said...

I think it is interesting the point you made between physical pain and emotional pain. You are correct- if I broke my leg and the dr said i had to wear a cast for 6 weeks and then go to therapy, that would be the end of discussion. But because the emotional is hidden (too bad we can't create casts for the heart)people expect it to take less time to heal. It is a good reminder for us all to be aware of hidden emotional hurts that we all carry.
BTW- I have never commented before, but I have loved reading your blog since the very beginning and I continue to pray for your sweet family. Your story (and Angie and Todd's) have helped remind me to hug my children more often (with less attitude) and try very hard to live each day better.
Many blessings!
Laura from FL