Thursday, April 23, 2009

Update : 42309

This is an extremely difficult post...

This past Saturday evening Nicol began to have some issues related to the pregnancy, so we immediately went to the ER. I am terribly... saddened, disappointed, sickened, distraught and stunned to tell you that she has miscarried. I don't have it in me to share with you much beyond that right now, other than to say she is doing okay physically, aside from the effects of the natural process her body must go through. 

I would simply ask, as I have so many times before, that you pray for us. We really need that. 

This is a bitter pill to swallow.  


333 comments:

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Anonymous said...

My heart is breaking for you guys. I have read your blog sporadically linked over from Angie's.I have had three miscarriages and now gone through secondary infertility treatment and thought it was so amazing b/c Saturday, March 21st when you guys found out you were preg. I also found out I was that very same day...so I was excited to follow the pregnany of Nicol. May the God of all peace and comfort rap you up in his loving arms! I believe he will bless you with another child and will be praying for your family.Jer 29:11-13

Krystal said...

Hurting for you and praying for God to comfort you, especially in this double-whammy time of disappointment and heartbreak.

Johannah said...

I am soooo sorry Greg and Nicol! I've been praying for you and will keep it up. When Angie said something about family, my first thought was you guys. And God has had you on my heart.
Johannah

Fran said...

Praying for your family. Asking God to surround you with peace and His love.

Always praying...
Fran

Lara said...

I'm so, so sorry. I'll be praying.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I went through 2 miscarriages and no one can really understand the hurt and disappointment you feel. Nicole will be in my prayers.

Fiffer said...

Oh how this aches my heart. I am so sorry and are grieving with you. I wish I had some words that could bring comfort but all that I can say is how very sorry I am & that I will be holding you two close in prayer. I'm sure this brings back memories of precious Luke and a lot of feelings of loss you have to deal with once again. May you feel God carrying you through this. You are loved!

Denise said...

So very sorry for your loss. God's will is sometimes so difficult to accept ... but you and Nicol seem to have the kind of faith that you NEED to get you through times like these. All I can say is that Luke is surely a proud big brother in heaven now, and he has someone to share his eternal life with. May that thought bring you some bit of comfort.

jen said...

So sorry for your loss.

Kristina said...

I am so sorry for your loss and I am keeping you in my prayers. I've had two myself, but I can't even imagine having one after losing your little boy. May the Lord give you strength, peace, and His abounding love.

Rachel Lundy said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Miscarriage is a hard thing to go through. You'll be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

You have lost so much already.

I too had a miscarriage almost a year ago, but the feelings are still very fresh in my mind. I had many people tell me many different things, (ie...maybe something was wrong with the baby, that baby wasn't meant for you, it was part of God's plan (the only one of which I TRUELY believe)), but none of those made me feel better. None of which made me less sad, less angry, less confused, less "WHY". Right after this, I found Angie's blog (and in turn yours).

But I did have one person, a father, who himself had lost 2 babies to miscarriage tell me something that was the only way to describe what I was feeling.

THIS SUCKS!!!

It does, and nothing will make the pain ease (at least it didn't for me), but that was the only thing that could accurately describe how I was feeling.

I do send my thoughts to you, and will pray for your family, both physical and emotional recover.

Carol said...

I am so sorry and I am praying...right now I am praying. Praying that you will have understanding, praying that you will have peace, praying that you will feel His love. So, so sorry.

Vicki said...

How my heart aches for you Greg and for Nicol and our sweet Summer.
Words are so inadequate. I love you all, Mom/Grammy

9hammys said...

Oh Greg and Nicol!!!!! I am praying and so sad. I love you all!

So, so, sorry. what the heck?????

oops, I guess that wasn't helpful, but I admit, I am mad. . .offended for you. . .hurt on your behalf. . .what ever God has in mind it must be HUGE. . .or. . . what's the point of all this???\\

We love you. . .

Laura said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news!! Praying for you and your family!

Sallye said...

Praying for you.

Sallye

Anonymous said...

I'm heart broken for your family.
When I miscarried, this verse always gave me comfort...
Isaiah 49:1
The Lord called me before my birth; from within the womb, He called my name.

I wish you peace in knowing that it is the Lords plan.

Alice said...

Praying for you...

Channe said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you & your family...

SingerMamaMelody said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you.

Truly,
Melody in MN

Nathan Selles said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. What a terribly painful time. I will be praying for your family. I have experienced 2 of my own miscarriages and can relate to the grief they cause. I will pray God will give your family the comfort and strength you need.
Bethany

Unknown said...

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart is aching for you and Nicole as you go through this pain. As a mother who also miscarried a baby I begin to know the pain you are going through...you are all in my prayers. In Christ's Name I pray. ~Melissa

Lilteach said...

I have prayed for you family all these months, and will continue. Your earlier post about not looking past the "death" before the ressurection got me really thinking. But you know-as scary as death is-He has conquered death-praise be to God. You will see you loved ones one day. : )
Prayers to Nicol. God has many things in store for you two.
(ps. PLEASE tell her thank you for her music. The beautiful music of Selah has blessed me more than I can ever say.

Polly said...

I am lifting you my prayers tonight. May the Lord bless you with His divine comfort, tender mercies and reassurances. May He carry you in the hollow of His hands during the upcoming days.

Sincerely,
Polly
Angel_Wings Prayer Warriors

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you now. I have no words and am just so sorry.

Liln said...

Found you through Angie's site

This must be so hard. I really have no words to express my sympathies.

I am praying that the Lord will wrap His arms around all of you and draw you closer to Himself.

LisaL said...

So sorry for your loss.

Sara said...

I'm so so sorry.

Sometimes life is just too much.

Michelle Ferguson said...

I am so very sorry. Know that I will continue to be praying for you both and Summer.

Rachaellh said...

My heart is breaking for both of you right now. So few people understand what it is like and I unfortunately have insight into the loss of two children. My first daughter passed away May 31, 2006 from unknown cause and I had a miscarriage February 3, 2007. I wrestled with God trying to understand His plan for me and my family. I cried out to Him for mercy. I pray that you will find your strength in Him and you will cling to one another to get through this terribly sad time. I long for the day of being reunited with Madeline and our mystery baby (as my son says). God blessed us with the most beautiful little girl December 26, 2007 and I can't imagine my life without her. A friend once told me when my daughter passed away, "God and Time." You will both be in my prayers!

vera said...

So many prayers for you.... I'm so, so sorry.

crystal said...

I am holding your family in my heart. I pray that you feel God's presence and find peace in knowing that your baby has accomplished all that He wanted for you little one on this earth.

My husband and I lost our baby last month, at 18 weeks. He was our first child, and I know how devastating it feels.

I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that your son now has a companion in Heaven.

Lee said...

I am so sorry for your loss. There really are no words.....only prayers for healing.

Julie D. said...

You both CONTINUE to be in my prayers!!! You don't deserve all this pain and heartbreak! It just isn't fair!!!

In prayer!

Love in Christ, Julie Doody

Ashley said...

Praying for you guys!

Susan said...

So sorry.
Praying of comfort.

Much love and prayers,
Susan in Indiana

Karen said...

Greg and Nicol,

I am so sorry for your loss. It just doesn't make any sense. What is the point?? Why? You may or may not want to ask these questions, but know, if it brings any comfort, that so many people are asking those questions for you. The only answer to those is that God is the same today as He was the day before this happened. I pray you feel His physical presence on you, His comfort washing over you.

Ashley Beth said...

Praying, praying, praying, praying. Be held in His arms and hold on tight to one another. Bless your hearts during this difficult season...

mom2calebnmicah said...

I am so very sorry for your loss! We have two sons ages 6 and 7, but since then have experienced at least one miscarriage a year. It's been overwhelming and heartbreaking and has also led me closer to the Father than I have ever been or probably ever would be. Please...rest in Him. He is your strength.

I will be praying for you in the days and months ahead. Thank you for the blessing that you are to so many, through your transparency.

I'm Erin. said...

So sad to hear this news. Will be praying...

Anonymous said...

My daughter had a miscarriage a few months ago. After going through this with someone I love so deeply and seeing her in both physical and emotional pain, I can relate much better to others who go through it.
You all have been through so much already. I can't imagine.
Just know you are in my prayers.
Please tell your wife prayers are being lifted to our Father in her behalf and I'm honored to do so.
God bless and heal!

Anonymous said...

My daughter had a miscarriage a few months ago. After going through this with someone I love so deeply and seeing her in both physical and emotional pain, I can relate much better to others who go through it.
You all have been through so much already. I can't imagine.
Just know you are in my prayers.
Please tell your wife prayers are being lifted to our Father in her behalf and I'm honored to do so.
God bless and heal!

Tristan said...

my heart is breaking for your family..I know that all too well.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

I am so, so sorry precious Sponberg family.

I sure don't know what our Father is doing here, but I do know that it has got to be huge.

Hugs to you and tears for you....

Joy@WDDCH said...

I have no words, just sending some E-HUGS.

Katie said...

Praying for your sweet family. I am so sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of your loss.
I wish you all the very best and I will pray for you.
Best wishes from Germany.

Katie Reynolds said...

My heart is breaking for your family....crying out to God on your behalf for His mercies in your life. Trusting with you in the One who made the heavens and the earth.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33b

Anonymous said...

so very very sorry, hugs and prayers your way.

The Asquad said...

I am truly sorry you're having to go through this. My friend once said (after the loss of our 3rd baby) that God sends people to us to bear some of our burdens for us and that she felt God had led her to me. Please know that my shed tears for you, I pray, are to help soften your pain and to bear this loss for you both.

Again, I'm so sorry, I'd love to be able to just hold you both right now!!
((HUGS!!))

natalie said...

My heart just splintered into a million pieces. As a mother who has miscarried twice, I know all too well the pain that comes with the loss--and how much deeper your loss must be because of Luke's home-going.

Many prayers coming to you.

In Him,
Natalie
Macon, GA

Gina said...

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I have been there too and it is not an easy time. Praying for you to get through this together.

9hammys said...

still praying!!!

Linda said...

I am so sorry you are going through yet another devastating struggle. We are lifting you up in prayer.

Susie (So Blessed) said...

With my prayers and sincere sympathy...

Kristen said...

I am so very sorry for your lose. Praying for you and your family.

Christi said...

Praying for you, knowing how difficult it is...praying that He wraps His loving arms around you.

Jeremiah said...

Praying for you guys! I know this life is temporary but sometimes its blows are so much more than we can take. We pray that He is holding you up once again and that in some way, you are comforted and soothed in ways beyond what this earth can fathom. God bless, words are never enough so, we pray for you.

Jennifer said...

Praying for you - I miscarried 3 years ago this week as well as 10 weeks along. I know the pain and I am praying for you.
One thing that really helped us is that we gave our little baby a name. Not one we had discussed but one that had special meaning. We picked a name that meant "Great is our God" - because our God is Great even going thru something like this.

Navy Chief Family said...

I cried when I read your post announcing the pregnancy. I am even more sad hearing the latest news. Having miscarried myself, the pain is unreal. I know you and nicole will get through this together. Just being there for her. May God give your family peace during this difficult time.

MamaTeeThree said...

I am so sorry... I miscarried my fourth pregnancy nearly two years ago, so I'll definitely be praying for you guys, that God's peace will just wash over you.

Anonymous said...

So sorry for what you two are going through. You are in my prayers!

~Andrea from East TN

rebecca said...

I am so very saddened to hear about the baby. We are keeping you and Nicol in our prayers and have been since losing little Luke.
Words are never enough during a time like this. May God's love and peace surround you and your family.

Tiffany said...

I am so sorry. Prayers for your family during this time.

Anonymous said...

Oh my!
I can only say just rest in the arms of Jesus. He loves you so much. Trust Him!

the Stork Nest said...

oh my..... how very sorry we are for your family, with such profound loss. know that there are folks in Chattanooga holding you up in prayer.
Oh, Father.... be with these precious ones....

kim_brough said...

I'm soooo sorry to hear about this. Just remember that despite the tragic things that happen to us in this world (which is not our home) there is still Power in the Blood, just like you sang in a recent post. Remembering you in my prayers.

DebB said...

I am so sorry to read this devastating news! I have experienced the horrible loss of miscarriage myself 4 times, and I certainly hurt for you guys. Please God, surround them with your Perfect Love and Mercy!

Jessica said...

I am lifting you both up in prayers.

Jenn said...

I am so sorry! You will all be lifted up in our prayers! Somehow, someway, God will carry you through this!

Anonymous said...

Please know that we are praying here in SE Texas.

Elyse

amy and kids said...

I am so sorry for you loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Nicol during this difficult time.

Stacie said...

Prayers and more prayers coming your way!

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I have ever written on someones blog but I strongly sense His proding to respond. I am a Pastor's wife and have faithfully served the Lord over the years along side my Husband. I have certainly learned through the years that I am not exempt to pain and suffering while here on this earth. We have lost 4 daughters to miscarriage all in their second trimester. I had so much faith and prayed so hard for each little life that He Blessed us with but God had other plans for them. What I really want to say is that Satan is alive and well during these days of suffering(and everyday) and will try to destroy your ministry through your grieving and sorrow. You have just been through so much losing precious Luke and now this little one. Satan will try to make you question God's LOVE for you, and where you stand with Him spiritually. Lastly, he will try to destroy your relationship with each other; as we each grieve in our own way. Praying that you will not doubt His love for you during these difficult days (as I have) but you will feel and sense His great unfailing, unchanging LOVE for you during the darkest days ahead. He LOVES YOU SO MUCH! Thank you for your ministry & music that has helped in my healing process. God continues to speak to me through Christian music and especially the song Resurrection, as I am sure for you. You are not only in our constant prayers today but will be in the days, weeks & months to follow.
We love you!

Anonymous said...

So sorry to hear of your loss! I met you and your wife at Luke's beautiful service last year. I followed Angie's blog and now follow yours as well. I cannot begin to say I understand the incredible grief you must be experiencing but what I do know is that we serve a God who give peace and comfort beyong all understanding. Many thoughts and prayers!

Elizabeth
Dalton, GA

Just Me said...

So sorry for your loss. Prayers to your family.

Andrea @ Mommy Snacks.net said...

I am so terribly sorry. I will pray.

mandy_moo said...

I am so sorry... that is horrible. Sending prayers for you all.

Anonymous said...

Greg & Nicol~
I have logged onto your blog several times a day since your last post, but I can't seem to find any words that seem adequate. Although this won't bring you much comfort, I want you both to know that your family is being used by God to be an example of what it means to truly love and serve Him. It stings, it aches, it leave you feeling empty.. but God is using it. I can testify to that.... reading your posts gives me inspiration and strength to serve Him despite circumstances that seem to contradict His love.

Take Care~
Annise (Holland, MI)

Just Me said...

I will be praying for you and Nicol and your family. How devastating. :(

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you and your family. Angie has kept her "Sundays" praying for you all...may God's peace surround you and may your family grow in God's abounding love.

Lisa
Wisconsin

Becki Francy said...

I am so sorry for your loss....again...

Penny said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. The path put in front of us doesn't make sense. You all know that God wastes nothing and this dark journey will give way to light.

Your in my thoughts and prayers....

Pri said...

I'm praying for you, God knows it all!!!

HJW said...

My heart aches with yours...praying in Georgia.

Pamela @ Frugal Vet Tech said...

I am so sorry. So very sorry. Praying for you all to experience God's peace and comfort and the comfort offered by friends and family.

shanemotb said...

so sorry....praying for you in Texas....

Mrs. Valente said...

I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling right now. I know how very loved you are by God; but beyond that, this world...this news, it all just baffles me.

I'm crying with you, and more importantly, I'm praying for the peace of Christ.

Megan P said...

Continuing to pray for you all! May the Lord continue to carry you all through this extremely difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness Greg. I ordered the bands from you and didn't even bother reading your latest post. I am so very sorry for your loss. My prayers definitely go out to you and your family. I had a miscarriage in my life also and it is extremely hard on the woman especially. 20 yrs. later I still wonder "what if"....my heart is heavy for you all. God bless, Robin Rowe

Anonymous said...

My heart aches for you Precious Ones...I pray that the Holy Spirit would hover over both of you and blanket you with peace and the comfort of His Presence...
love and continued prayers~
Robin
All Things Heart and Home

KM said...

OH how my heart aches for you. As we all know, there are no words on this Earth that truly comfort...but we do know the Comforter. I pray you receive his comfort, peace that passes all understanding, and rest in this time of need.

Kristi in Texas

Anonymous said...

Read Ps. 126. It's a sweet promise to those aching with empty arms.

Wendy Bradstreet said...

Greg and Nicol,

The County is praying for you both. I cry as I write this as it seems God has put us in similar circumstances at the same time. We lost our little girl almost 4 years ago and we were overjoyed at the beginning of February to know we were expecting a baby in the falltime. However, as with you, He chose to take this child home at 9 1/2 weeks, but we didn't know until 11 weeks when I went in to the doctor's office and they couldn't find the heartbeat that we had seen so clearly 3 weeks earlier. God allowed me 5 days of anger directed at him and grief that was unbearable before He finally said "OK, here's what you're missing child". Thoughts of Job kept coming to mind throughout those 5 days, but I was too angry to care, until He showed me: it's not that Job suffered, it's WHY he suffered. I had forgotten the battle that is raging behind the scenes we can't see with Satan. And it IS a battle! After He allowed me to remember who is controlling the earth at this time, it gave me peace to know that God wasn't deliberately making us suffer for no reason. And I continue to lean on Him to keep me going. Stay strong, He's still in control!

Miche said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I've been there too and it's difficult. For a few months now I've been checking back here to see how the pregnancy was going so this saddens me.

Your faith is amazing and God will continue to bless you and your family through these difficult time.

Take care!

Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

I'm so sorry for your loss...praying for your peace.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry! I know how heartbroken you both are! I have unfortunately experienced on too, and it is hard for me because now I cannot have any more children. Nicol is so lucky to have such a caring husband and extended family. I wasn't so lucky.
Prayers for all...

Robin said...

I'm so sorry to read this. Miscarriages are always painful, and when it follows the loss of your precious son, it's a doubly hard pill to swallow. I pray for peace and healing for you and Nicol.

Lewis Family said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I just lost a 10 1/2 week pregnancy a couple of weeks ago and there are no words. Music helps, and blogging it out a bit. I know your faith is strong and Heavenly Father has much in store for you. Hang in there.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

I'm so sorry...praying God's continued comfort as He carries you.

In His Grace,
Kelly Gerken
Sufficient Grace Ministries

Kjersten said...

I am so very sorry. I pray that our Heavenly Father covers you and your family with peace and hope.

Lynsey said...

I follow Angie's blog which has led me to your blog on a few occasions, and with tear-filled eyes, I just finished reading your latest post. I had a miscarriage almost 3 years ago, and I'll never forget the heartbreak I felt, but I feel like the heartbreak for you and your wife must've been 1,000 times worse. I'm just beginning my journey into religion and I'm trying to remember that God has a plan for all of us, but after reading your latest post, I can't help but think that he's just a bit cruel sometimes, considering what you've already been through losing your son. Hopefully as I dive deeper into my journey, I'll understand more of why these things happen in life, and why God chooses to keep precious babies.

Anyway, prayers and hugs for you and your family. I hope your hearts begin to heal soon.
Lynsey

noahandlylasmommi said...

Oh I am so so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. You and Nicol will be in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

So sorry for your loss. May God wrap His loving arms around you!

Jennifer L said...

I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. We lost our 2nd child to a miscarriage at 10 weeks. We still miss that baby every day, and look forward to Heaven so much stronger. You & Nicol & Summer will be in my prayers.
Jennifer in Oregon

Momma J said...

*hugs* I am sorry you guys are having to experience this. Having barely recovered from a miscarriage myself [exactly one month ago tomorrow], I know first hand how miserable it is both physically, emotionally, AND spiritually. Hang in there. If you need someone to talk to, I'm all ears.

Carla said...

Horrible, tragic...just plain sad. I'm so sorry that you are once again facing loss. It is definately a bitter pill. It reminds me of that song by Natalie Grant "Our Hope Endures". "Sometimes the night goes on for years". Praying.

kay said...

I am so sorry. Praying for you all.

Happymom4 aka Hope Anne said...

Oh. Tears. Gentle hugs . . . and prayers for the Father of love to hold you tight through this time.

(Miscarriages stink. Having experienced them myself many, many times, I care.)

www.xanga.com/happymom4

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Lifting up prayers for you tonight in Kalamazoo, MI. May He be your refuge and strength.

Becky said...

Your family is in our prayers. I pray that God wraps your family in His arms and gives you a peace that is unexplainable. We love you.

amanda said...

praying for you and your family. about five years ago we dealt with the same thing. we also told everyone before hand about the baby. if we had not had their love and support through the miscarriage it would've been so much harder. we never regretted sharing the news. and i can't wait to meet that baby in heaven and share the baby with it's little siblings.

Julie said...

I am so very sorry. Please know that you are being prayed for.

angie said...

I am praying for your family during this time.
May you feel His loving arms surround you.
Angie in AZ

SJLifephotos said...

Dear Greg and Nicol,
I have followed Angie's blog for sometime now and got to know you all a bit through her writings. I just want to send a prayer out for you right now because I ache for you both. My husband and I were called to start a ministry a few years ago for couples grieving the loss of children and so I thought if you all would like some help, we have some pretty great resources listed on the website. Feel free to check it out www.cradlingarms.com or you can call us anytime, the information is on the site.

Tammy said...

I am so sorry that you are having to go through another loss of life. I am praying that God will carry through this valley.

Rachel said...

Praying for you all during this time. Give yourselves time to heal. (I have had 7 miscarriages.) the pain and loss is real but it is often difficult for others to comprehend how real this baby was to you both. PRaying for God to send others to walk along side and encourage you both during this time. Praying for peace and healing for Nicole. Praying that God gives you wisdom, peace and patience as you wait on Him to grow your family.
Hugs and PRayers
Rachel in PA

Anonymous said...

sending a mental hug to your family. will keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I'm here from Angie's blog! I'm weeping as I type and I want to tell you I'm so, so sorry for your loss! I know these words are shallow in view of the loss but I wanted to tell you that I have sorrow with you!
Oh my...I will pray!!!

Tutu said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have a son named Luke who was born just a couple of weeks before your Luke, who by the way shares a birthday with my dad. We call our Luke Lukey and Little Man. I have read that you called your Luke the same things. Luke's story hit home to me, and I have thought of you and Nicol and prayed for you often. The news of the miscarriage is devastating. I have suffered through 2 miscarriages, and I know the feelings of despair and emptiness. You will continue to be in my prayers!

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry.

Am praying for you all.

Anonymous said...

I lost my baby about 6 months into my pregnancy. For the several dark months that followed, one of the things that helped me was listening to your song "Wonderful Merciful Savior"...over and over again, each day. Even today that song stirs deep emotions. Stay focussed on that Wonderful Merciful Savior. Only His peace and comfort and healing grace works.

Adrienne said...

I have no words but prayers...Lord, please comfort this sweet family...their hearts, their hopes. Lord, thank You for providing for them exactly what their hearts ache for...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Tonya said...

I am so sorry to here this sad news for your family. May Gods peace and comfort surround you during this difficult time.

Heidi Brown said...

I'm so sorry. I just saw this and my heart sank. How unfair. How confusing. How disappointing. How devastating. So on and so forth.

Lord, I don't understand your ways but I will give you all of my praise. You know our pain and you draw us closer to you through it. All I can do is ask you to bless this family, to draw them closer to you and to each other and to use this as an opportunity for your Name to be glorified. Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. Let Greg, Nicol, Summer and the entire extended family feel your love through the body of Christ. Not our will but yours be done and give us the strength we need to endure...

ohmydarlands said...

My heart bleeds for you. My husband and I have lost 2 children now. I know the horrors your body is putting you through, I know the questions and the "what if's", I know the emptiness and the sadness that cannot be described.

The Lord gave me Psalm 116. I will be praying earnestly for you and your family.

May you feel His peace and His love,
Warmly,
Jenna in Muskegon Michigan

Rebekah said...

My heart is breaking for you and your family! We've had to walk this same path of loss and dark providences, and the Lord has been gracious to bring us through the pain and into healing. I pray He will do the same for you and Nicol.

Linnea said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

tanya said...

I have been praying for you both. This news is almost too much for me. I think if I really let myself 'go there' emotionally it will be the straw that breaks the camel's back and I don't know when or if I'll stop crying. It has been an emotional year for me and reading your blogs, Angie's blog and countless others have helped me to know I'm not alone in this struggle of dealing with loss but regardless, it is hard. Too much at times. God is there with you both and I just pray that He continue to hold you tight. Let you cry hard on His shoulder and keep you close even when you want to scream and run away from all of the suffering. Somehow, through this, we're learning to share in His suffering. And one day I pray that we'll really know the joy in it.

I know this is a long post but I want to share what the Lord gave me one night as I was crying myself to sleep. I was literally drifting in and out of hard sleep as He brought it to me. It is a poem that helped me with some of my questions and feelings. One I remembered the next morning so I know it was from God. Love to you, T.

Our Gift

The Lord brought the word 'Gift' before me this season -
A sweet reminder of Who we celebrate; the real reason

In the midst of shopping, wrapping and bows -
I felt fatigued, soreness, then flutters in my stomach below

One day it hit me, could it really be?
Gift number two growing inside of me?

After several tests, my instinct confirmed true -
Gift number two would soon make its debut

Happy, surprised, even shocked at times -
We fell in love with our Gift so tiny inside

Then something happened - we have not a clue;
God called our Gift home - out of the blue

Our hearts are broken, yet in God's hands to mend;
But at moments each day it's still hard to comprehend

I know one day we'll meet face to face;
My heart longs for our first, sweet embrace

Very often I find myself in a haze -
Wondering how you, sweet Gift, would have spent your days

Do you like trucks, trains, blocks and balls?
Or do you prefer pink and playing with dolls?

Are your eyes brown, green, hazel or blue?
Is your hair straight or does it have curly q's?

Do you like to laugh, smile, jump and run?
Or do you gracefully dance before the Son?

Are you enjoying Heaven's sights and sounds?
Do you have friends and family all around?

One thing that gives me great peace down here -
Is knowing you'll never know sadness or fear

Precious Gift, cuddle with Jesus, let Him hold and love on you -
Until that glorious day when Daddy and I get to too

Mami Sue said...

This is really not fair--i am so sorry for your loss--i wish i could take your pain. i am so sorry

Unknown said...

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Will be praying for your family at this time of sadness and confusion.

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